Thursday, August 26, 2010

1 month

I just came to the realization that most of you have no idea what our youngest child looks like with her eyes open. Until recently - neither did we.  But now that she's starting to come to life, we think she's pretty cute.

Her eyes are turning blue, her hair is filling in (though she is beginning to sport a baby mullet in the back), and at least three of us have been treated to the most heart-melting, open mouthed, gummy smiles (which totally make up for her insistence that we never ever miss a single 3am airing of the Magic Bullet™ infomercial.)

Wednesday, August 25, 2010

suckers

I am an easy target - at least I must look like one. And apparently - it's genetic.

We're walking through the Mall of America and can't move 10 yards without getting pounced. Kooka and I both get hit. "You like pretty jewelry?" Of course she does. "Miss, miss - I make you smell soooo good." She likes to smell good. "Are you a model? I am going to make you a Supermodel." Give me a break.

But the guy at "Magic Hair" has refined his technique. He doesn't even bother with me.  Instead, he kneels down to Kooka as we walk by. His eyebrows raise, and in a thick accent he coos, "You such a pretty girl." Much to my horror - she smiles. She should be running away - she should be grabbing my leg and shouting "stranger danger". But noooooooooooo. She grins, hypnotized by the stranger who says, "I make you even prettier with curls - you like that?" Her eyes glaze over and she nods, hopping into his chair like a migrating lemming.

"What is your name?" he asks.

"Kooka."

"Beautiful name. I, Tony - and if you wonder of my accent - I Israeli. I work hard here and we have no dental insurance, so I make you good deal." Actually - his teeth look fine - it's not like he's a pirate or anything. I steel myself for the pitch.

He begins to curl her hair. "Now, Kooka's mom. This is space age hair curler. One hundred percent ceramic - not just coated with ceramic - one HUNDRED percent."

I nod.

"This not ordinary curler. It can straighten and curl, and it uses far - infrared technology."

"Really? Infrared?"

"NO! FAR-infrared - much better than infrared."

"Like robot eyes?"

"Yes just like robot eyes. Sends waves deep into hair. Made of same stuff as Space shuttle." I watch Tony spin her golden locks into perfect spirals. They will all fall out by the time he's finished.

"You see this?" Kooka's hair is starting to smoke and sizzle - it's pretty hard to miss.

"Yeah - I see it."

"That not steam - that natural oils, that protect hair. Natural oils are soo good, they keep hair shiny. That not steam - that natural oil."

"Well - where is it all going? I mean doesn't she want to keep that natural oil? Sorta looks like it's all escaping."

"What is escaping? Nothing is escaping!"

"That - that vapor - her natural oils."

"Oh - that stuff not natural oils - that just steam." I do not even know what to say to that. Luckily I don't have to say anything, because Tony keeps right on going. "Now - normally we sell this for 220 dollars, but just for you - and because I have no dental insurance - I sell for sixty-five dollars."

"Ooooh," Kooka pipes in, "That is a good deal."

"Yessssss," he purrs, "Now you try Kooka's mom. It sooo easy."

It not so easy. In order to make it curl, you have to hold it at the base - and the top, and the infrared technology burns my fingers - not once - but twice.
"Ouch!"

Tony takes it back and scowls. "It not so hot," he says. His fingers are calloused. Looks like he's been herding wild dragons for the past 6 months - no wonder he can't feel anything.

Needless to say, we don't splurge on the space-age hair curler. But Kooka leaves feeling fabulous - and for that, I leave a tip. Not enough for dental insurance - but maybe enough for some burn ointment.

7 years from now

Sunday, August 22, 2010

fine arts

Aaah, the benefits of homeschool . . .

One f my favorite projects, was Kooka's kindergarten fine arts project, which resulted in this. (Granted, it is two years old, and video of dress rehearsal, but still, I thought it was worth repeating.):

Wednesday, August 18, 2010

leap

So we are out for a girl walk today - just Kooka and Yoda and I.

I've got Yoda strapped to my front in one of those pouches made especially for babies who can't hold their heads up yet.

We come to a section of sidewalk with sprinkler overspray that is a good 3 feet high and 7 feet wide.

Kooka takes one look at the sprinklers, then peeks into Yoda's pouch and says to me, "We have no choice - guess we're gonna have leap for it."

She did.
Yoda and I crossed the street.

Saturday, August 14, 2010

valedictorian

OK - not that I wouldn't be thrilled if any of my kids became valedictorian of their high school class (then again - see the homeschool class reunion video for Punk's likely scenario) - but I would be even MORE thrilled - if they gave a speech like this:

Valedictorian Speech

Monday, August 9, 2010

pop quiz

Guess who:

One of our children walks into Target today, heads straight for the school supplies, but is sidetracked by an endcap. This particular child's face, lights up, and I hear the words, "Oooh!  Hand sanitizer!! Mom - will you please buy me this?"

Even the kid perusing the graphing calculators in the middle of summer looked at us like we were geeks.