lightning strikes twice

If we haven't seemed ourselves lately, well, it's probably because we knew. 

Even though we didn't really know. 

Ya know? 

Because who could possibly know this? 

Who could possibly be prepared for this? 

It sure the hell wasn't us. 

Like what are the actual odds of this? According to the head neuro-oncologist at Mayo, the odds fall somewhere in line with being hit by a meteorite, winning the lottery, getting internet famous - or in his words - "struck twice by lightning". 

Twice. 

Rico has brain cancer. There is no cure. Full stop. 

It is completely unrelated to his sarcoma, and is a brand new journey for us. Although we were scared about the last two bouts with a super-rare cancer, this one brings on a whole new level of terror for all of us. 

How does this happen? 

I mean aside from the obvious fact that the universe is clearly plotting against us? 

Seriously. 

How? 

The? 

Fuck? 

Does? 

This? 

Happen? 

His left hand was getting a little weak. That was it. He thought he had carpal tunnel for the past six weeks. I was quite certain it wasn't carpal tunnel and thought maybe he'd had a mini stroke. God, I wish either one of us had been right. 

Thankfully, Dr. Mark had the good sense to do an MRI to rule out anything more serious. Except we didn't get to rule it out. 

Now for the good news. 

Although there is no cure - this is how it is - there may be some treatment. We will know more after May 12th, when he'll undergo a 9-hour brain surgery. They will also take a biopsy that day and tell us what type of follow-up treatment would be most helpful. 

Our family has spent the past week in shock. We've gone to work, headed to class, taken finals, done presentations, attended our Zoom meetings, but inside, we have been broken. Completely broken. I know that I'll be sharing more of that part of our journey here too - because writing is my outlet - and also, if it helps someone else know that they are not alone, then we are all here for that. 

We love you all. We're sorry for the impersonal blog post - but right now, it's all I can do. We are so grateful for the support you've all offered to us during his past battles. This one looks to be the toughest yet. 

Love, J,Rico, Noah, Kaia and Neeks

(bracelets courtesy of Neeks who always sends us off to Mayo with extra love)