Thumbs up

Yesterday was an improvement.

We got a few mumbles, and a big thumbs up. This is the first significant movement he has made when given a request. 

Today is better in terms of his cognition, but harder on him. Per covid protocols, I’m not allowed to stay overnight with him. He did have a few seizures during the night, and also finally “woke up” but he had no idea where he was and was terribly scared and sad. His speech makes sense, but is repetitive. This is all completely normal after brain surgery or a traumatic brain injury, but it’s hard on him.  Thankfully, today most of his speech is about love, people he loves and the love he feels around him.

The surgeons tell us that they got 80% of the cancer. They will never get it all - not with surgery, it’s not possible because of where it is located. But we hope this week’s biopsy will give us some news on how we might treat it.

He is beginning to remember. He knows his kids names and ages, but doesn’t remember that they have been next to him for the past four days. He knows he grew up in New York, he knows where he lives now and he knows he is loved. Man does he know he is loved.

It’s what gets him through.

His eyes are closed, but he is chattering a lot today.

“I love you.”

“I love my kids.”

“So much love.”

“We are lucky to be so loved.”

He’s right. We are.

It’s the little things that help so much right now. A play date for Tiny; a friend who took Noah and Neeks out to lunch and stayed to play some video games; a ticket to see her friends in an outdoor show for K; homemade enchiladas.

Neeks has started collecting thumbs up pictures on her social media to show him when she gets to visit. It’s such a small gesture, but it’s one of the ways she sees the love.

Here at the hospital it’s the little things too:

O.T. came in and gave him a tiny piece of cracker to chew. He did it.

I got to feed him some mashed potatoes. He said they were delicious - which I doubt, but he ate four tiny bites.

It’s Soomchai - his CNA. Rico just might elope with him before all of this is over. 

The Beatles playing in his room.

The love notes from family and neighbors to helps ground him when wakes.

There is a lot of talk about love today.

There is also a lot of talk about Nurse Grace who is either the best for bringing him a warm blanket, or the actual devil for trying to feed him chocolate pudding.

We’ll see what tomorrow brings. Thank you for keeping in touch. 💗