What now?

Help.

I have a real question. 

I’m looking for a real answer.

Our family has always been perceived as politically blasé. If you know us you know, but for the most part we demonstrate “live and let live and help live” beliefs. Our strengths tend to lie in our non-judgmental approach to life and diplomacy. It’s not because we don’t care, but because we believe people need to be heard, to feel understood, and to feel safe to share their concerns and that’s our family’s strong suit.

I’m not sharing that info because I think we’re candidates for the Nobel Peace Prize.

We ain’t.

We swear at each other during Mario Kart; we don’t think all babies are cute; we aren’t vegetarians - because chickens are weird looking and delicious; we think Hamilton is wayyyy overrated; we’re impatient at the drive through.

We’re not perfect.

But, we played by the rules.

I mean there are rules right? That’s what we’re being told. According to the current administration, we should have been fine. People like us should be safe. Right?

My kids can trace their ancestors back to the Mayflower on both sides. Granted ICE wasn’t checking papers back then, but I’m guessing my predecessors worked that out somehow.

My granddad stormed the beach at Normandy. Rico’s dad fought the Nazis. My dad was shot in Vietnam. My son registered for selective service on his 18th birthday.

Rico and I both got college degrees and paid off our student loans.

We “chose” to be in a heterosexual relationship 

We both worked no less than two jobs at a time our entire lives. 

Despite the double jobs we juggled to stay home with our kids and not send them to daycare.

We saved for retirement.

Our kids get good grades and were all “a joy to have in class”.

We volunteer - a lot.

We donate to charity.

Our kids have been baptized and confirmed in a Christian church. 

I actually worked for the Republican Party in high school, because Steve Gunderson was a great Congressman (go ahead - look him up).

When life dealt us FOUR cancer diagnosis, we declined financial support, go fund me attempts or charity events for ourselves because we knew other people needed it more, and we still had the ability to work. 

Our kid has helped raise over $70,000 for cancer research starting when she was seven years old.

We return our shopping carts to the corrals.

We pay our taxes.

Yet here we are, my husband’s struggle with sarcoma and glioblastoma left my three kids fatherless and myself widowed three years ago. I worked to take care of his business, while doing full time hospice care. I paid off the medical bills. After he died, I worked as a long term substitute teacher during the day and seasonal choreographer in the evenings, while helping my kids heal, and process and become the people they are meant to be.

In December, I was diagnosed with both a heart condition AND cancer.  The survivors benefits from Rico’s social security is on the chopping block, so is our state assisted medical insurance. Our savings are dwindling.

If this can happen to us, it can happen to you. Apparently medical assistance for people like us is wasteful. Social Security for kids who have lost parents is just a “Ponzi scheme”. 

What more could we have done to prevent this?

This is not a rhetorical question. I’m looking for genuine answers from people who support the current administration. What more could we have done, and what are we supposed to do now?