Tuesday, November 27, 2012

a sad, but true update

ACL = totally, completely blown.
1 surgery.
7-9 months of rehab.
God knows how much money.
And worst worst worst of all, not knowing how I can teach.

That is the saddest part of the whole thing.

worry worry worry

I worry constantly.

It is not unheard of for me to wake up at two in the morning to see if my kid is still breathing - the ten year old. 

The eighth grader walks four blocks to church by himself - but I have him text me when he gets there. I read the labels on the children's Motrin, not once, not twice, but three times to make sure I don't OD the two year old. And when I come home to a quiet house, I run downstairs to make sure that Rico hasn't fallen victim to sudden illness or ax wielding maniac.

I let my kids stretch their wings, experience life, do the things that all kids should do, but I am always worried about it.

So when I read this article on one of my favorite sites Free Range Kids, it broke my heart.  I will keep doing my best, but in the end, all I can really do is love them.

Friday, November 23, 2012


We all have have our quirks.

For me it's leaving half drunk glasses of water all over the house. It's not on purpose. Though I hold tight to the argument that someday we'll be attacked by aliens, just like that Mel Gibson movie. Rico will take a bat and start knocking a baker's dozen McDonald's Sweet Teas from the mantle, thereby saving not only us, but all of mankind. It could happen, but it's not like I do it entirely for altruistic purposes.

And then there's Rico - leaving dental floss hanging in the shower, which will also come in handy someday if a crazed ax murderer has us trapped in the bathroom, and we have to braid our own rope to shimmy down the second story window.

Punk will draw the same thing over and over until it's just right. He's probably felled a quarter mile of rainforest in his attempt to draw the perfect Batman and Joker. But still, I admire his need to perfect his craft, to not settle for anything less than awesome.

Kooka will change clothes approximately 4 times a day. This is not an exaggeration. On the downside, she rarely remembers what's clean, and ends up doing much more laundry than she should. On the upside - she always looks fabulous and helps the rest of us when we don't.

I'm always looking to put a positive spin on these little idiosyncrasies - trying to figure out how these little quirks can benefit our our family, our friends, the world in general.

But Yoda has me stumped.

Since birth she has been obsessed with necks. It is especially prevalent when she is sleepy, sick , or daydreaming. Sounds relatively harmless right? And I suppose it was when her little hands were the size of a Kennedy half-dollar, but now  - my god, I'm lucky to be alive.

Imagine sleeping peacefully in your bed. It's still dark outside, you're still warm under the covers. You feel a little something move at the foot of the bed. You roll over, assuming it's just the dog looking for a fluffy spot to snuggle. Ninety seconds later you're being asphyxiated by a tiny hand constricting around your throat.  But it's all good, because the entire time your jugular is being cut off, and your airway is being obstructed, a small voice is whispering in your ear "I love you so much."

It's like setting your alarm clock to Boston Strangler mode. And this happens every morning!!! Rico thinks it's funny. Ha ha ha.

When she gets into her lighting matches phase, we're flipping the bed around.

long week

It's been a long week.

Aside from the usual round of craziness, we've gone through two tests for whooping cough, one round of antibotics, three trips to the doctor, one set of crutches, an entire bottle of ibuprofin, two bags of cough drops and half a dozen Vicodin.

And aside from a bit of walking pnemonia we still have no idea what's wrong with any of us.

Tuesday, November 20, 2012


I am stupid.

After 10 years of being sooooooooooooooo careful, after nearly a decade of watching where I step, how I step, where I dance, which direction I dance . . . I blew it.

I was working on a show last night, and jumped off the stage.  Not a big jump, just enough that I could get out of the kids way and see how they looked. This is a new stage to me, and I misjudged the jump. I knew before I landed that it wouldn't end well.

I won't see the doctor until tomorrow, but for now the knee that only had half of an ACL to start with, is swollen, basically immobile, and useless without crutches.

Thank God for Kooka.  Again this kid comes to my rescue.

I fell about 30 minutes into a 3 hour rehearsal, and I talked her through all of the choreography and she demonstrated.  Between the two of us, we got it done.

I am hoping it's just a strain, a sprain - but since it was already unstable, I am worried about what this means for the rest of my season.

I am so stupid.

Tuesday, November 13, 2012

middle child

  I have always admired my second child. All three of our kids are unique, wonderful, loved beyond measure, but there is something about the middle one - she is solid, dependable, works for what she wants, and never seems to give up.

Lately, she has decided that she wants to be a performer - a triple threat to be exact. She is aware with a maturity beyond her ten years, that she is not the only kid in the world who has ever wanted to be on stage and she is willing to work her 85-pound-tail off to get there.

Her schedule today went like this: 

6:00 wake up 
7:00 percussion/band practice
8:00-2:50 school
3:00-3:45 piano lesson
4:00 -5:00 vocal/dance class
5:00 -5:30 dance technique lesson
5:30-6:00 homework/dinner
6:30-9:30 theater rehearsal

She always manages to find time in between, to wrestle the dog, read a book to her little sister, listen to her brother's jokes, give Rico a playful punch or hug and kiss her mom. And what's more, her teacher says she is actually thriving in class - doing better than ever.

Kooka has amazed me the past few weeks.  Add to this schedule the fact that she kept busy campaigning for her favorite presidential candidate, going to church classes, doing her homework, and volunteering to help teach a class of younger dancers and spends every-other weekend in a different state, it's amazing that she hasn't dropped over from pure exhaustion. But she has never once said she does not want to go to any of her classes, never complained that she is tired, never said that anything was a waste of time - never - not once.

I am so proud of her. She knows that there might be a better actor out there - but she is going to practice until she can give her a run for her money. She knows that she's not the next Taylor Swift - YET. She doesn't have her splits flat yet, but not a day goes by that she isnt pushing herself a centimeter closer to the ground.  

I'm sure she'll change interests at some point, but with an attitude like this, she'll bea hard act to follow no matter what he decides to do.

This kid inspires me to do more, see more, try more, live more - and sleep hard.