Tiny’s biggest day

Words fail me.

This is ironic, since that is exactly what Tiny was asked to speak about at the National Selective Mutism Association conference this week.

I wish I could explain how it feels to watch your kid overcome something so crippling, so devastating that it left us wondering if she could even attend school, if she’d ever get a job or have friends. It was that bad.

She did not speak a word in preschool. Not one word.

She was able to pass her kindergarten screening, but beyond that, did not speak in class. She stood alone on the blacktop every recess until someone decided to ask her to play. She couldn’t ask to use the bathroom, for help opening her milk carton, or tying up her snow boots. It wasn’t optional. She could not do it. 

Imagine opening your mouth to speak, intending to speak, but instead your body and mind betray you, and you begin gasping for oxygen like a fish out of water. The only relief you can find is to close your mouth. So that’s what she did.

For years, the funny, gregarious, intelligent even sarcastic kid we know disappeared at school, at dance, at choir at church. She was a ghost of herself when we stepped outside of the house.

But she’s worked on this. She’s worked hard. Yes we’ve encouraged her, yes we’ve pushed her, but she did this. 

When she was five I told her, “You know, not everybody feels like you do all the time, not everybody feels so afraid about so many things. There are special people who can help kids so they don’t feel so nervous, would you like to meet one.”

“Yes!” She said,”Can we go today?”

She didn’t stop asking until we’d made our appointment. She was diligent about her work outside of the therapists office.

She was excited about Brave Bunch Camp and was willing to do everything they asked of her.

That was two years ago.

This weekend she delivered a speech in front of a few hundred people in Las Vegas. She was funny, articulate, read with expression and was even able to answer some questions the audience had for the panelists. 

Proud isn’t the right word. 

Relieved? 

Happy? 

Maybe inspired. Yeah, I think that’s it. If she can do this. I can certainly step up my game too.

(I’ll try to post some video, but be forewarned that the quality is pretty terrible since due to privacy issues, we had to zoom in an obnoxious amount to keep other people out of the frame)