better

In actuality - Rico seems to be doing - dare we say it - better?

We realize that's a relative statement, but it's true. He's been mostly rational (except for in the middle of the night when he's drugged up), he's asked me to help him work on some muscular therapy, and we've been doing some strength training. His memory has been borderline excellent and he's been helping with banking from the bed.

It's confusing for him and us. Why is one day bat shit insanity (his words) and the next day he's basically completely himself? 

Lots of people ask  - What do the doctors say?

It's a more roundabout way of asking - How long? What's next? 

Nobody dares ask that - but that's what they usually mean.

But that's not how hospice works. There are no scans. His glioma could be raging ahead, or have completely stopped growing  - for now, for months, for whatever. It's not likely. It's not probable. If it happened you'd see him on the cover of the National Enquirer. with the headline - Steady Diet of Dairy Queen and Caribou Coffee Cake Cures Man of Stage 4 Brain Cancer  or  Mayo Study Finds Correlation Between Slowing Cancer Growth and Caramel Corn. 

His choice when he entered hospice was to stop health care and accept palliative care - so we have no idea where we are in the journey - we just know we're on it, and that for the moment he's able to be with us and love us and he's not in pain. This is our normal for now. This is our family.

We've dialed things back a bit and are looking for ways to live on our own - not just through it, but with it. This is our life. Although we appreciated it, we stopped the thrice weekly meal train our friends had set up for us. I've tried to help the kids get out a bit more. Everyone is preparing to go back to school.  Those things will need to happen, so we just keep moving. We are so so grateful for the time you've all dedicated to spending with him. Visits and love are the best treat of all.