wings

 You wanna see your kids spread their wings right? I do.

I just wish it was under different circumstances. This week, Neeks has been an ICON. 

Proton therapy runs anywhere between 7 am until midnight and your schedule can change up until the day before. My work schedule is pretty flexible, except for May. There is literally no wiggle room - none. Recitals, rehearsals, concerts, events.

Sooooooo while I've been laying in this proton tube every night, my youngest has had to do all of the hard stuff without me. 

She has had some incredible support  - Lori, Talia, Madison, her dance teammates and parents - we are incredibly blessed that way. 

But - if you know this kid, you'll understand. Dress rehearsal for dance recital on her own, presenting her dad's scholarship, her first singing audition, studying for 4 tests (A's across the board by the way), feeding herself dinner  - all this while navigating a new school and the scariness of our situation. She's been a champ.

Most people expect that treatment is somewhere between 9-5  - you know, regular proton burning hours. But it doesn't work like that. Since there is only one machine, treatment is scheduled anywhere between 7 am to midnight, and when you're just starting out you get whatever is left, so, my hours have been late - sometimes I don't get home until 11.

I guess what I'm trying to say is if you see her, give her a fist bump, a smile a sandwich. She is spreading her wings under circumstances that no kid should. I don't know if there is a name for the emotion that is simultaneously proud and worried and grateful and furious at the world - but that's what I got right now. Really though - it's mostly grateful, because damn do you guys hold us up. And you never forget to celebrate the good stuff with ice cream - and send me the pictures.