Sunday, March 1, 2015

confessions of a dance chick

Things I am glad are on their way out:

1) Duck face
2) That whole "I'm not gonna wear tights thing"
3) The gigantic Amy Winehouse hair poof
4) Wearing only one shoe. Newsflash, you just told the entire auditorium that you are a poorly trained dancer who can only balance on one foot. Newsflash #2 - "trendy" does not equal "good".
5) The crotch-flashing leg extentions - just do it to the side. No, seriously JUST DO IT TO THE SIDE.

Things I wish would be gone soon:

1) Jazz hands in a contemporary dance. You're intense - we get it. Now close your frigging fingers when you turn - you look like a burn victim. (You know I'm right).
2) Hey - I know you think solos are fun. But dance was meant to be done with OTHER PEOPLE - that's how you get good - that's what people like to watch. Not sayin' - just sayin.
3) Rich kids wearing red and blue headbands tied in the front like they gangsta or sumpin. Oh - you're doing hip-hop? That's great! Your sequin boots tell me you've never set foot in the hood, so don't adopt a culture like it's a new Claire's accessory. Nobody would put up with you walking around in a kimono to "Turning Japanese" or donning a Native headdress and running around stage going "Ay-yi-yi-yi".  Yeah  - no - we don't do that.  So turn on your music and dance - but let's be real - it's a dance. The thug life didn't choose you.






3 comments:

mbassett said...

Oh lordie, I think you've made me tear my tummy muscles from laughing so hard. I needed that!!

j said...

Yes - these frustrations need a certain level of understanding to be fully appreciated. I'm glad somebody feels my pain.

mbassett said...

Oh, I definitely feel your pain!