awareness month

October is Selective Mutism Awareness Month. This picture is of a seven year old with severe anxiety - a little girl who had undiagnosed SM for two years - a little girl who wouldn't raise her hand in class or ask to use the bathroom, or try to join in play unless she was specifically invited - a little girl who didn't even know there was such a thing, until she was 38 years old and her grandma said, "Don't you remember how you didn't talk for those two years?"

No, I don't remember.

I remember feeling really shy, I remembering not wanting to say anything at school, but I didn't know it was noticeable to anyone but myself.

I'm singing in that microphone because my dad told me I had to. He didn't know. Even I didn't know. And quite frankly, him forcing me to do some of this stuff is probably what made this all work out in the end. (And by "work out" I don't just mean becoming a somewhat productive adult - you're looking at Little Miss Norway 1977, and Wisconsin State Speech Gold medalist 1988 - you can congratulate me later). Of course it's probably also what gave me chicken pox that summer before the national competition at Universal Studios that summer - but oh well - all of the physical scars healed and most of the emotional ones as well.

Anyway, this is just a note to thank you all for the love you show to Tiny, and to the families who showed so much love to the seven-year-old in this picture.  Every day was a fight just to get through the day - eventually I built up the strength to be myself - and though her battle is much more intense, eventually Tiny will too.

As for Rico updates - he is finishing up his third round of chemo tonight, he's seemed to tolerate this one a bit better, and has really been pushing himself to eat and drink as much as he can in hopes that he can stave off some of the lethargy that keeps him bed-ridden for so long. We love him so much, being without him sucks, but we get him back tomorrow, so tonight we'll have some girl time and pick him up in the morning.