I do it about once a month - ask my kids what I could do to be a better mother. I figure it is only fair, since I am constantly dispensing advice about how they could be better spellers, swimmers, cleaners, math students and so on - I figure they should have their say too.
But it was a bit ironic after my earlier post, that Kooka and I should have this conversation as I tucked her into bed tonight:
"Alright Kooka, what could I do to be a better mom to you?"
"I knew this was coming. And you know what I am going to say - you are the best mom already."
"But you know how this goes - I am going to make you pick something."
"Yes, I know, and actually I have been thinking about it a lot."
"OK - shoot."
"Well, when I was thinking about it this week, I was thinking that I would say, that my friend's moms buy them more toys, and things they want at the store."
"But then what I realized, is that I am really glad when you don't buy me things. My room would just be full of junk. And last week, when you cleaned out my closet and drawers, and got rid of stuff, it just felt really really good to come home to less stuff." Here she pauses, because she hasn't given me my concrete answer yet. She scrunches up her eyebrows and says, "I guess the thing you can do to be a better mom, is to keep not buying me stuff. I do not need it - I think I do, I think I want it - but really I don't want it - because I do not like my life to be messy, it makes me really sad."
"So the thing I can do to be a better mom to you is to keep not buying you stuff?"
"Yes - that is it. And mom?"
"Don't spoil Yoda either. Make her turn out like us - like me and like Punk. That would be the best thing you could do. And tell Rico that it would be the best dad thing he could do too."
I am all over that assignment.