Tuesday, July 6, 2010

child rearing

In about two weeks, we will be a family of 5. 

It seems like we are ready, but it's hard to tell these days.

Rico never sat in a car seat.  I never had a baby gate when I was small.  Even my own kids had drop-side cribs - which they don't even sell anymore.  Like we don't worry enough - like we need this ever-changing array of safety issues.

Now they sell cloth covers for the seats in shopping carts.  I am not sure how that will protect the child when I, with my bare hands remove her from the cart.  How sanitary can I be after loading my own groceries from the same conveyor belt just used by the family of six purchasing 4 liters of 7-up, a pallet of saltines and a case of Pepto Bismol?

A baby first aid kit comes with four different thermometers - a specific one for each area of the body.  The caveat is that a fever is defined differently for each orifice.  So by the time I master the algebraic equation of converting an armpit temperature, to a forehead temperature, to an oral temperature, then take into account the baby's age, relative to the atmospheric dewpoint,  my kid will either be comatose, or OD-ing on infant Motrin.

But the most disturbing piece of safety equipment by far is a contraption designed to keep your baby sleeping on her back.  It's basically a velcro onesie.  The point is to wrap your baby in the enclosed velcro jammies, and then attach her to the fuzzy crib sheet so she can't move all night.  I don't know how I feel about this - I mean, steel handcuffs and manacles would serve the same purpose, are easy to clean, long lasting, hypo-allergenic, and quite frankly cheaper than the $60 they were asking for the velcro straightjacket.

Two more weeks and we can start worrying again for real.  But for now, all I can hope, is that I keep hearing advice like this:

"The baby will talk when he talks, relax. It ain't like he knows the cure for cancer and he just ain't spitting it out."  from smds

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

This makes me laugh because Leo LOVES his velcro straight jacket! It's the only thing that keeps him sleeping- once he's unswaddled he wakes right up. Linnea was the same way. Sara