to nook or not to nook

THAT is the question.

I have hated these things since they were invented - Nook, Kindle, whatever - those portable libraries - the wave of the future. When the lady at Barnes and Noble asked me what I thought of the nook - I told her that they repulse me and that I would really like to burn down that little Nook kiosk she was standing in. Thankfully I knew this woman and wasn't arrested on the spot - but, still, you get the idea.

Give me a plain old book any day - the smell of fresh ink, the texture of paper beneath my fingers, the simplicity of holding something in my hand that requires no batteries.  I loooooooove books.

Which makes the rest of this story a bit ironic .  .

It starts on Tuesday,  but since you're here I'll assume you have the time . . .

I woke the whole family up at 3:30 am .  I knew the baby was not coming, but knew something was off, and I had to get to the hospital - the real hospital - an hour away.  The pain was unbearable, and after an ultrasound, two blood tests, steadily dropping blood pressure and 6 hours in the OB, I was drugged up and sent home.  Three vicodin, and three vistaril - against my better judgment mind you.   Rico was in the room. I do have a witness.  I know he heard me say,  "Wow - that's a lot. Why do I need so much?"

But the medical professionals insisted that it would be safe, and insisted I should take it.  They even sent me home with a prescription for lots more.

Needless to say, I didn't wake up for about 24 hours.  And when I did, it was pretty hard to breathe.

Which landed me back in doctor's office - where she immediately told Rico to hide the drugs.  Hide them - that's what she said - like I had big plans to meet Rush Limbaugh and Matthew Perry back in my laundry room for our next hit.  Like I was tossing back fistfuls of the stuff - like getting stoned was my idea.

In addition, she put me on house arrest until next Wednesday, when Yoda's scheduled to arrive.  I can leave the house - but not alone, and not for long. Furthermore, when I am home - I am supposed to do nothing - riiiiiiiiight.

Which leads me to the nook.  I was complaining to Rico (for like the third day straight - the man is a saint) - telling him I could not possibly just sit for 7 days. And he is driving, trying hard not to make eye contact, when he says, "Welllll, if you want, we could just stop and get your baby present early - that would help."

"Pardon me? What are you talking about?"

"I was going to get you a nook - when the baby was born - a baby gift, but maybe you could use it more now."

'Why were you going to buy that? I hate those things."

"I know - but I think you'd secretly love it."

Damn it.
He knows me too well.  Because despite my public protests.  Despite everything I can't stand about those stupid things - I had been starting to see their benefits, like:  just having one book on my nightstand instead of 9; being able to browse books 24/7 - even when the stores and libraries are closed;  and never - ever running out of things to read.  Not to mention the environmental guilt I often felt at buying a 437 page book for a one-time read. I knew these stupid things had their good points, even though I was loathe to admit it.

Rico was still not making eye contact with me.  I think he was actually there when I threatened arson on the Burnsville Barnes and Noble - and he's astute enough to notice that my drug induced stupor was certainly not increasing my mental stability.  (I spent the better part of the day, crying, screaming, hyperventilating, or staring glassy eyed at the blades on the ceiling fan.  It's a wonder I got a complete sentence out at all.)

"I'll trrrrryyyyyy" it,"  I said.

So for $139 (plus protective cover),  he hooked me up.

And the verdict   . . .

I hate that I like it - but I do.  I still miss the ink, the paper, the feel of a book in my hand, but so far the trade off has been worth it - especially since I am trapped in the house regardless.  There are almost 1 million free books to choose from, and I can't even count how many more.  You can read before you buy, lend your books for up to 14 days, and never have tote around 487 pages of anything.  It bookmarks the spot where you stopped reading - even if you fall asleep (like I always do), lets you highlight things, and subscribe to magazines.

I have 14 days to try it out - and I may snap back to my senses in a fortnight, but for now, I am sticking with it - just don't tell Punk.  He was busy nodding his head, and planning which accellerant to use on that kiosk.


Melanie said…
Screw the nook.... What the hell is going on with you????
j said…
Exactly what I told them was wrong with me when I walked in. They all freaked out about everything the COULD be wrong, and I kept saying - "no, it has something to do with my prior incisions."

Which is exactly what they decided in the end - very very painful, but at this point not threatening - especially if I lay low.
Anonymous said…
Do you like and/or want visitors? I am glad to hear that you are being taken very good care of:)
j said…
Hi Naomi,

We would love to have visitors after we get back.
Anonymous said…
Will do:) Good luck with everything!
Anonymous said…
At some point, if we are ever rested, I'd like to have a conversation about your nook. I'm tempted, sorely tempted, but still feel a huge loyalty to the touch and especially smell of the printed word. ~ Sara
j said…
Yeah - I know what you mean. It was a HUGE step. And the stupid thing is that I just want to sit in the bookstore with it. I do feel a bit more environmentally sound though. I hate that I like it - I reallllllly hate that I like it.