last kiss

Easter 2014. 

Gram only likes the jelly beans. Neeks only likes the chocolate. They make a good pair.

I took the four year old for a little tour of Gram's house a few days ago. We visited the vegetable garden where they picked carrots and peppers; the toy room where they would play catch; the aviary where they would give all the birds different, silly names; the bench where they hunted for Eater eggs and then re-hid the eggs five times so they could just keep the fun going.

I want her to know, so I tell her as clearly as I can, "You know honey, Gram is going to die soon."

She looks up at me and nods.

I keep going, because I want to make sure she gets it, "Just like Pa. So when we go back to her room, when you say goodbye, we won't ever get to see gram again."

She looks up at me, confused. "That's not true," she says.

"Sorry honey, but it is true."

"Actually no. We just won't see her again until we die."

"Well, yes, until we die."

"Yes, but then when we die, the fun just keeps going and going and going - we just have to be sort of patient and wait."

She walks with me back to the room. She knows that she has to talk loudly for her gramma to hear her. She says, "I love you Gram! Bye bye!" She smiles and blows a big kiss high into the air, I jump into the air and catch it. "Give it to Gram," she says.

So, I hold the kiss, and slip my hand into Gram's. One last kiss from her Dani.