Thursday, March 10, 2016
This week was supposed to be a taste of normal - at least what normal feels like when one of you is in the fight of their life and the rest of you are rallying around while simultaneously trying to pretend it's not happening. (It's not denial, it's just the only way to get through the day without breaking down.)
Needless to say, nothing feels "normal", but there are a few things that felt good:
• One of Rico's dearest friends was concerned about his health, and seems to be doing better - so thumbs up for that.
• Kooka snagged a role in the summer production of Grease. She's one of the youngest in the cast and will be surrounded by wonderful college kids that we know and love - so that's another score. punk is a little bummed that his art scholarship thing conflicts with the show, but he decided to go to auditions anyway, just to see people he loves. It was good for him to get out of the house too.
• Yoda skipped today!!! Seriously - this is huge. For a kid born with gross motor delay, it was milestone. All three of the dance teachers in the room were just silent as she headed across the floor and then we erupted in applause. It's OK if she wants to deny her DNA and be a dentist, I just want her to be able to skip out to the nitrous oxide.
• Our kids have a great friends, and those friends have wonderful parents. We were generously gifted with two homemade meals this week, and they were the best thing any of us had eaten all month.
• Rico starts radiation tomorrow. I wouldn't call us "excited" but it feels like a step in the right direction.
• Your emails, notes on the blog and cards really do make our day. (No matter how inappropriate the wording might be). We actually got one with fair warning not to open it in front of Yoda - thank God we heeded it. Though it was a completely appropriate use of the F-bomb.
• Being at work feels right - at least for now. I was worried that it would be horrible and that I wouldn't be able to function, but I was wrong. I need to move, I need to see other people move. It felt great.
• Yoda has the best kindergarten teacher in the world. No, really. I don't care who your kid's kindergarten teacher is - this one is better. (The older two had me, and I still pick this one.)
• Binge watching Fuller House was a sweet reprieve from reality. Who needs Michelle? She was annoying anyway.
• My cousin sent personalized sweats so Rico will feel completely covered in any situation.
• Snapchat filters were #hillarious on the 17th floor of the Mayo building. Don't ask me why you can't make yourself look like a fat panda binging on bamboo anywhere north of Rochester, but you can't.
• Yoda wrote a thank you note to the doctors that felt much better than the picture she drew last week.
We don't know exactly what the road looks like, but we do know that we are in for a bumpy ride. Right now, I am trying to bask in the advice of one of my very good friends. She says a lot of wise things - among them, "You are enough", and this little nugget that she lodged into my subconscious about two years ago:
"Don't dwell there."
Bad stuff happens. Stuff you'd rather not deal with will come into your life. You can visit, you can let it pass through, but don't dwell there.
You can choose where you live - don't let it be there.
Don't stay in that place.
Don't dwell there.
Right now we are trying to dwell in your love and your prayers - your homemade soups and F-bomb cards. It's a beautiful place to live.