Tuesday, December 22, 2015

sorry

Today there is another chest x-ray. Maybe PT will come in and see if they can get him to walk a bit. Yesterday there were some balance issues, today there is weakness in all of his limbs. They're running blood cultures for rare diseases - things carries by rabbits and ticks and goats that live in swamps.

For the first morning ever I am not with him. Yoda is being presented with an award in front of the whole school. Rico and I talked about it, and decided that I should be here this afternoon. We'll see what the evening holds.

I can't believe that this has been less than a week. In so many ways it seems like a lifetime ago. I know I look like a stoner. I walk into Target and my eyes are completely glazed over. I'm not even sure why I am there except that we are out of goldfish crackers and I am trying to maintain some semblance of normalcy in our house. I'm sorry if I don't look at you. If I do I will cry.

I cry every time I walk into his room. I cry every time I leave.  I don't think they are tears of fear. I'm not sure what they are. I just know that when they fall down my face the only feeling in my heart is love, and how right now I just can't seem to love him enough.

1 comment:

Treats said...

Yay for Yoda. Bummer for everyone else. Send me a text when you need something from Target. I'll spare you from the people you might see. I"m serious. I hope today turned around some for Rico. If they could figure out some infection that is causing all of this, that would be awesome. It would be awesome if there were an antibiotic for everything that is happening. Hang in there. xo